(A totally serious guide to surviving wild client behavior.)
All of us have this behaviour close to animals. We call it out all the time – she moves like a snail. Woh to cheetah hai bhai!
What if we apply this to managing client relationships?
For instance, if your client thinks they’re a lion and you treat them like a rabbit—it’s game over.
So here’s a very wild, slightly exaggerated but completely relatable guide to how clients identify themselves (and how to work with them without getting eaten, ignored, or ghosted).
I don’t want a process. I want a kill.
No meetings, no method. Just serve the outcome.
Fast. Fresh. Flaming hot.
Don’t ask questions. Just roar back with results.
“I’m the Lion.”
I remember everything.
You promised in 2019 we’d go viral.
Still waiting. Also, that typo in slide 27?
Unforgettable.
“I’m the Elephant.”
I get distracted. I jump topics. I forget what I asked you.
But I’m full of ideas and vibes.
You just need to keep up and keep me excited.
“I’m a total Monkey, yaar.”
Give me 3 working days. Every time. For everything.
Still reviewing Version 2. We’re on 7 now.
But hey, I’ll get there. Eventually.
“I’m the Tortoise.”
My boss loved a video on LinkedIn—can we copy that?
Talks a lot. Forwards more. Everything is ‘so cool’.
“I’m like a Parrot.”
I just listen. Quietly. And strike when needed.
No small talk. One-word emails.
Deadly precise. And when I give feedback—it stings.
“I’m the Snake.”
This is so amazing!!! Love your work
They clap on every slide, say yes to everything—
…until they forget to reply for 3 weeks.
“I’m the cute Puppy.”
“Bachke rehna… yeh cheetah hai!”
That’s how I once introduced a client to a new joiner.
Not to scare. But to prepare.
Explaining someone’s style is tough.
Explaining their animal behaviour? Instantly understood.
The moment I say, “He’s a cheetah—will spot your typo from a mile away and pounce when you least expect it,”
—there’s a shift.
The new teammate becomes alert. Watchful.
Suddenly, commas matter. Leaf sounds matter. Everything matters.
The technique is quick. It’s real. And weirdly—it’s respectful too.
Because you’re not stereotyping. You’re deriving from storytelling.
Try it with your team.
Map your clients to animals.
You’ll find they remember them more—and fumble less.
